March 2010 Archives

Is growth or rather growing through experience a process of unconscious self development or one of conscientious desire for change based on the reinventing and re-imagining of one's self?

I found myself pondering the question today and find that it is still an open question which perhaps may ultimately be impossible for me to truly answer.

I think that at some early point the never-then self conscious adolescent was tainted, like that of Adam and Eve with original sin, took bite of the fruits of social ills and hence forth began the tireless process of reinventing and re-imagining himself.

At what point in life was it that the carefree state of nakedness require clothing or that the process of just being begin to require the masks of layers upon layers of social expectations and external influences?

I have always been much better at dreaming than at realizing my fantasies. Despite being quite aware of this lifelong ailment, I find that regardless of identity, whether one is a dreamer or doer, the creative and imaginative qualities of both inventor and daydreamer are requisites in this ongoing process of change we dub life.

I am tired of dreaming and awaiting paths to open for me.

I am ready to awaken and pave my own path to self fulfillment.

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and became enamored with the man I saw and you fail to see...

From left to right: Yusef X, the fabulous Pepper mint, John Bonelli (my supervisor)

At work at a photo shoot for our new ad campaign.

Last night was incredible! My friends and I had the best of times....

We began the night at the Westside Theater to see Love, Loss & What I Wore.

The cast included: Didi Conn, Fran Drescher, Jayne Houdyshell, Carol Kane, & Natasha Lyonne

From left to right: Scottie Jimenez, Eddie Cruz, Rudy Diaz, Yusef (Me), Fran Drescher, Fernando Lemus, & Abe Bucay

From left to right: Fernando Lemus, Yusef (Me), Eddie Cruz, Natasha Lyonne, Abe Bucay, & Rudy Diaz.

After we went to Elmo's Restaurant & Lounge in NYC

We were disappointed to hear, "Sorry but we are all out of steak", but Rudy & I ended up having the meatloaf platter which did not in any way disappoint, Fernando had the Tuna (medium as I suggested), Abe had the scallop risotto, and Eddie kept it simple with a bacon and swiss burger... cause you can get the boy out of the ghetto but you can't keep the ghetto out of the boy... ;-)

Our end to a perfect night was spent at Black Orchid where the Legendary DJ Junior Vasquez spun an incredible set.

Photo Credits: Peter Lau, Klaus Enrique & Robert Zash

I had a blast at the Black Party! What an incredible night/morning! No one throws a party quite like Stephen, who I am very grateful to for his incredible show of generosity.

The crowd was amazing! The music was INCREDIBLE! DJ Hector Fonseca did not disappoint and as the "girls" say, "he turned it!"

I was super excited to get to have experienced such an incredible event especially on my first day of 20/20 vision. My peepers didn't miss a thing.

After much peer pressure, I took my shirt off, which would be the second time in my many years of living in NY that I have ever showcased the ribcage in a club setting. I was a little self conscious at first surrounded by all the muscle bunnies yet my self consciousness was put at ease in a matter of minutes as the compliments, winks and smiles I was getting from those which I considered way out of my league began to come way.

If pride, lust, coveting and using the Lord's name in vain are wrongful, I by implication was a VERY VERY BAD BOY.

Zack Westerfield of XZACT Entertainment Group & I at the Hudson Hotel before the Black Party.

5 min before getting my eyes zapped...Thank God Aloysius the teddy bear was there to see me through it....lol

I woke up at 6am, blind as a bat and under the influence of a Valium and a Tylenol pm. I however thought that it was 6 "pm" and so took another Valium and yet another Tylenol PM and went back to bed. I GAGGED 4 hours later when my alarm went off and I was due at my doctor's office for a post Lasik surgery check up...I felt like a nodding Heroine addict stumbling along mid town. Finally back home with 20/20 (actually I have better than 20/20, I have 21/21 now) but am still tripping over everything, including the cat's tail which a stepped on a few minutes ago...