The 359 Day Lesson

I lost my job last year on January the 26th, a day that I tried hard to forget but had a very difficult time not remembering.

Overall, my lack of financial means was overcompensated by an overall lack of emotional and social support.

The short spells in which I may have been preoccupied with worldly things or happiness, abruptly came to an end by a little voice, at times internal but mostly external, reminding me of my misfortune for the simple sake of making me feel less than.

Hence, between that of my inner struggle, that needless voice, and the hindering experience of economic hardship, I spent approximately 359 days (yes I did the math) not feeling very good about myself.

Flourishing, under these conditions was very difficult. There was little growth, both spiritually, emotionally, and in overall self-wellness. I felt like a plant potted in much too small a pot, filled with stagnant soil, shunned by the grace of the sun and at times perhaps even questioned if forgotten by the glory of our Lord.

It mattered not that about 5 million other individuals in the U.S. were dealing with the same issues because at the end of the day, I placed blame on self and took full responsibility and ownership for the karmatic debt and lesson in humility that fate had appointed me.

I constantly asked of myself the same erroneous question: "Why me?"

I should have rather been asking:

1. "What can I learn from this experience?"
2. "How will this help me better myself?"
3. "How can I be of service to others rather than feeling sorry for Yusef?"
4. "How can I learn to be happy for what I have rather than lament my have-nots?"

Yet, as previously mentioned it was a stagnant period and I focused on much too many things which I should have had the sense to let go of rather than hold on to.

Once, I began to look deep within myself for answers and stopped focusing hopes on the outside world to mend my broken spirit, was when my process of healing began and the universe appropriately responded.