Sleep has not come easily these last few days. There is a lot on my mind I guess, and as always it seems when you're just starting to overcome one obstacle the universe throws you another curb ball, for the sake of keeping you on your feet and one's humility in check.
A funny thing, the universe is. A few days back it provided me the opportunity to face several truths in my life that I was not ready to face, and so I allowed pride to overcome a chance to gain a lesson in humility. The universe always prevails, as I should know, and as it did.
Yesterday, as I sat and meditated over the last few days, I thought much about recent shortcomings and how I had allowed pride to make me less the man I would rather become and so it again offered me a way out except this time, it was much less favorable than the recent opportunity given.
That's the funny thing about meditating or spirituality in general, not only does it provide one with a tremendous amount of insight and allow love and truth into one's life but it also forces one to face the truths we would rather not, and such was my lesson.
And so, I learned that one can try and rationalize their motives for not facing truth ad nauseum but ultimately truth is truth and if one can't be real with ones self, how can one hope to be so with others and/or hope for that same level of blessing in their journey?
My shortcomings may have made me feel to be a smaller man but the life lesson ultimately a better one.
YOU ARE A VERY STRONG AND INTELLIGENT MAN . I MISS YOU PLEASE CALL ME.
YOUR BROTHER,
JEREMY X
You are a hard person to find. You have been on my mind a lot through the years. I am glad to see you are doing well. Miss u
Much love
hahah well hello..i like everything from your website ...i absolutely love your art and positiveness... you inspire me in so many ways...and for that i thank you. although it might sound weird...you actually broke my heart...really. its not funny or a joke i had met this guy online although you shouldnt trust mainly anyone online..haha but he had been using your pics as his own...he made me fall in love with you...although im the type of guy that is interested in inner beauty, feelings, and emotions, i had felt lucky to have a hansome and yet caring person. i had had mi corazon on gaurd for quite some time now and i had put my gaurd down just for you..when the time came to meet each other...he left me alone waiting in the dark that day in his city, i ended up sleeping in a park till they opened the bus station for like 7 hours...i know it might seem strange but i also fell in love with the person i was seeing in my pictures. at night i would would see every picture of you on my phone and cry to wonder when will you come back...when i zoomed in one of photos i saw a website...i immediately search the website and i found you...altough you have nothing to do with the person i met by phone...is it possible for us to be friends??? well take care and saludos de california...hasta luego.
Well i decided to come visit ur page once again...may i say that i enjoy many of ur blogs...very interesting things you write and express. you make me feel like i was their living them. great material...and plus you also write some great funny stuff...thanks for the laughs and unintentionally insperation...take care hope to hear from you soon...greetings from my cell phone...lol california
Sharon,
It is so good to hear from you after all theses years.
I hope that you and your family are doing well.
Alfie,
Thank you for your many comments. I apologize for having indirectly “broken your heart” and that you waited around for 7 hours in a park in a weird city for some jerk.
In life we live and learn but it doesn’t count as life if we at times don’t gamble and take chances.
I applaud you on having taking a very romantic leap of faith but would advise that you take better precautions to ensure your safety in an often cruel and sometimes violent world.
Waiting around alone in a foreign city for an online personality is probably not included as one of the days that you most effectively used brain power and sound judgment.
Use the head…don’t loose it.
Well hello my dear friend. thanks for responding back at me.
lol, no dont appologize it was my "dumbnotsmartmistake", but i thank you alot for the friendly advice. very true in so many ways. Just seating here and seeing your pictures helps me reflect in one of the biggest mistakes i have done in life. not knowing that i could have gotten in far most unimaginable trouble. i have learned many new things since that little incident. im still currently single not because i cant find someone, but because i have chosen it. time has helped me get to know so much more about myself. every now and then i suprise myself by learning new things about me. i had to appologize to myself for putting myself in so much humiliation and harm. i normally dont get myself into these kinds of messes, trust me. i have grown in mind and in soul. and yes i dont think i used alot or any brain power. i had just felt a big attraction for you, your beauty, your charm, well not you that other person, but im preety sure your that and so much more yusef. lol and thanks for your applaud i know alot of stuff in life but on one of the things i know most of is love. although that was not a corrisponding kind of love. it was the blind, not smart, dumb, dangerous, chaotic environment one. and yes i also believe that in life we sometimes have to take chances, or gamble as you said, if we fail we learn from our mistakes, if we fall, we shall rise, but i thank you. you might not know it but...im a new me. gracias a ti. you helped, you inspired me, your truly a great person Yusef and i do hope one day i get to meet you. after all i have always wanted to visit new york, one of my many dreams. and if i ever do go i hope we can have a little meeting arrangement and you can maybe show me arround? and i promise im not the weird, chaotic, drama, crazy guy..lol very chill cool, laid back, independent, now smarter,lol, latin kinda guy. what have you been up to? Is it possible i can get to know you a lil bit better.? tell me about you. what are your dreams? What inspires you? hope to hear from you soon my dear Yusef.
yours truly,
Alfie C. Lara
Alfie,
It’s nice to hear back from you and know that you’re not in a shallow grave somewhere off a California highway. lol.
You ask a lot of questions: Much too many for me to answer in any one comment or email... (not to mean that I am committing to the idea either)
I would love to "tell you about [me]" but instead I will point out the obvious fact that this whole site is one big ballyhoo of an “online alter” to myself filled with “garbage prose and unchecked self-indulgence” as one reader so eloquently once put it.
Hence, four years of self proliferation, quasi wannabe intellectual rants, and the fact I am not camera shy should give you a gist of the personality. lol
But, let me know when you’ll be in town.
I’ll be happy to put you on the house list for one of the parties I promote.
Here you go again putting a smile in my face..lol yeah i am muy feliz that im not stranded or dead in some weird cold lonely place. Thank God. I dont think any of your work, is ''garbage''. i find it very interesting, it feels and sounds very real, not fake or shallow, or quasi. Sorry about all the questions im pretty sure you have better things to do than write to a ''fan,follower,admirador'' of yours lol. Just tryna get to know a bright mind. Y si se le declaro que soy su admirador, no es solamente brillante, pero es mucho mas que eso mi amigo, no quiero decirle lo que muchos le an dicho''cute,sexy,handsome,etc...'', pero usted es muy HERMOSO, es una belleza. I do hope i get to meet you one day, maybe when my birthday comes in April, but i do i hope we get to talk and not just put me in a list. im coming all the way from cali so i at least hope i get to spend some time to get to know the imfamous, talented Mr.Yusef lol. But first im trying to go to Rio de Janeiro Brazil, maybe Barcelona, i have an uncle their begging me to go visit him, i hear both places are beautiful, just have to make up my mind. i do see that all of this site portrays you, but i know that theirs so much more. How are you doing? whats new in your life? pretty busy im sure, well i hope you keep in touch, i really love hearing from you. i know sometimes people can cause harm, unknown people and even people we know and trust, but from my part, i promise youll have a understanding, fun, honest, ''new'' friend. Se cuida mucho hermoso, sigue luchando.
yours truly, Alfie C. Lara xoxo