Saturday, I wrote about not waiting for life to happen and about making stuff happen for myself. I went out with a really positive outlook. Why does there always seem to be a high and mighty jerk in my life trying to knock me down? Let me explain. At Saturday’s party I did my usual. I smiled, walked around, drank casually, and attempted my best at not making eye contact with any stranger long enough to give the idea that I was interested or there to pick anyone up. So like anyone who has ever known me I found a spot in which I stood mostly by myself for the better portion on the night.
I am minding my business I kept telling myself but I already knew that he had taken notice. Every now and again, I would look over, confirm and quickly look away. It wasn’t long before he made it a point to make conversation. He was nice, funny, and charming. Was, being the operative word. The only time I was made to feel uncomfortable was when nice-funny-and-charming tried to pin me close to a wall. I explained that I didn’t like that. I’m sorry it just doesn’t look right being pinned up against a wall by a newly met stranger in public. We don't have to be a foot apart with your arms streached at my sides to have a meaningful moment.
After perhaps 30min of us talking a little here and there, in between me dancing, alone, because the other way I explained made me feel uncomfortable, we exchanged numbers in hopes of communicating at a better suited time. (It is important to mention that this is 2nd person I give my number to in a club in a year. I have a knack for knowing how to pick em.) I told him that I was going to get my coat because I was leaving soon. I said by to my friends and on the way out said goodbye to him. It was all very sweet, no inappropriate anything, no “what-are-you-doing-afters”, no kissing of lips, cheeks, or ass. There was just a little pleasure-to-make-your-acquaintance theatrics and the promise of perhaps meeting someone down to earth who was nice, funny, and charming.
Since then, a four day span, I have texted him twice and left one message. My last text to him was asking about what happened to that seemingly interested nice-fanny-and-charming man that I met at the party. To which he replied (no lie) the following:
“ur too cocky n conceited yo…I aint feelin that”
What the fuck! Gathered all that from maybe an accumulative 20min talk over load speakers? Do I suck or does this guy suck? Someone please tell me. Because for a cocky and conceited guy, I really got offended, or was it hurt? I mean, I know that I kind of have certain guards that come across as boisterous and overtly self assured but that’s what happens when enough people try and tell you that you are less than. And well those antics can be misconstrued and are open for interpretation but I would liked to believe that at the end of the day I am a rather humble person. If this blog doesn’t serve as a testament to my overall sense of humility, insecurities, fears, sorrows, faults, humanity, and everything that makes me imperfect at the end of the day, I do not know what is.
Perfection lies in ones ability to face the not always greatest of experiences and having the humility to own, grow and learn from them. I have learned that arrogance is implicit of conceit because it comes from a space of judgment, fueled by a sense of superiority which in turn is requesting the watering-down of mine.
Not very nice, charming or funny.
Wanna hear something conceited? He missed out.
Hi Yusef,
Well man all I can say is better you know now than later how he feels, I've been reading your page for last year. I don't take you as conceited but rather down to earth and sweet,just trying to make it through everyday life as most of us normal people do. So don't take it to heart, hell with him and just keep on truckin someday you will meet the person for you.
Well have a nice day, smile and keep the faith.
Take care,
Rick
Yuesf, you're not conceited at all! He's just mad that you didn't let him have his way and asked him to respect your space. Just cause he didn't ask you what you were doing after or try to kiss you in any way doesnt mean he wasn't thinking of ways to do so!
Like you said "He missed out"
Any person that thinks he can make that kind of opinion about someone else in that kind of enviornment has problems, probably of the conceit type.
It's crazy how people confuse self-respect and dignity with conceit. I too hate when people display unauthorized familiarity with me in public. Especially when you just met.
To me, "He missed out" is not sign of your conceit, but an indication that you know your worth. Not enough of us do.
...WoW...
Given that I know you, I'd say I think the use of the word "conceited" was not used properly. He's a fuckhead! You didn't connect as well as you thought with this guy and that's okay. It happens. Most of the time you can tell if a person is conceited or otherwise get a feeling of who they are within the first hour or so of meeting them. Why exchange numbers then? I am sure he knew that before he got the digits. This dude seemed all about the scamming to see what he could get.
I agree with TJ though. He didn't respect your boundaries and your "control" of the situation. That's what turned him off. He clearly wanted you to fall head over heels at that moment for him. Why waste the time ya know?
Don't let the rugrat allow you to get all retrospectivey and justify your actions. He didn't know you and won't get the chance now. So yeah he missed out, but looking back and seeing what you said about how he behaved, did you really want it to work anyway?
Conceited? In the story that you describe, you don't sound conceited at all.
I would be a liar if I said that the thought never crossed my mind. In one particular phone conversation I had with you - almost a year ago now - you said something that made me briefly wonder if you were conceited and/or self-absorbed. It was so quick, I can't even recall what it was...something about everyone wanting you.
The thought has never once returned since then, though.
Travis,
I quote:
"adorable and funny…Smart. Witty and I have a lot going on in the plus column."
your words not mine yet you don't come across as conceited yourself.
Tell Dre I sent Wil the pictures of the event.
I told him. He said thanks.
And I agree. Given that the rest of that blog you qouted is about what a neurotic, nut job, I am, I would be surprised if anyone could cull conceit from it.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200602u/introverts
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
I thought a lot about your above post. I wanted to respond but my various reactions didn;t seem to come together in a way I felt good about posting.
Then I read the above linked atricle and thought of you. And it made more sense.
Read both and let me know if they apply to you. I don't know you well enough to really say.
All I can say from direct experience was when I met you, you seemed sweet eager... but being an introvert I'm not sure of the impression I gave.
Hope you are well
Hey Dre.
Philippe
Oh and btw I was supposed to go to that party too. lol
but I was drunken elsewhere.
Sorry I missed ya