One of Those Days

Onward bound to my second class, which is just a few more freezing NYC street blocks down this way in that new building. But first, I look back one last time to make sure that lip-&-ass has lost me. I then take a deep breath and exhale a long sigh. I shake my head from side to side and wonder why God has cursed me with this at-times unwanted charisma. I smile at myself and continue my short hike to math class, which I have already attended and deemed as a safe, not distracting, nothing-to-see-here environment. When I arrive, three girls gather around, ask questions and share laughs. They all say bye and head to their seats. I hear the door open turn around and then, boom! The eyes met and smiles were exchanged. The effect was a pretty, yet ruff, urban aren't-I-cute one. Soon after, I found myself replying, No, this seat is not taken. I was however thinking; holy shit, look what the wind blew in. Where the hell were you at the last time I was here and why the fuck couldn't your desire for a seating position be else where? "This is my first day of class", the response came as if in anticipation of my question, followed by a smile. I smirked back in my usual quasi-interested sort of way. Purely for the sake of habit, because inside I was thinking you are so on my homework list. This was all reinforced by the fact that everything and anything I said resulted in a smile. I replied each smile with a quasi-interested smirk. The back and forth exchange continued for two hours while the class went over the syllabus and rant introductions and then continued all the way back to train station. Damn, I wish I lived in Sunset Park but its uptown for us ladies and gents but not before a few more shared smiles from one platform to the other.

As soon as I got home I got a call from a Cuban cutie and several emails from just-came-across-your-profile regulation-hoties. Yeah, you know the type. Then there was the Moroccan girl from down the block, who is a go-getter and always lavishes me with attention. She's cool, I want to be her friend but am afraid she might strap xplosives around her belt and force me into submission. She is the kind of girl who goes for hers. I admire that independent aspect of hers. She is loaded with the energetic power of flirtation and charisma that this night is seemingly infused with. I was rolling in attention well past midnight. I was even called a "breathtaking man." I was gassed up and it had nothing to do with the refried beans I had at work this afternoon. I am really not bragging and do not want to hear a comment consisting of the word conceit. Trust me, you just scroll back and read my previous posts this last year. I assure you that if they happened to touch on the subject of dating or relationships, it only mentions what an overall less-then-favorable experience they were. People are primarily interested in one thing nowadays; themselves and, or, sex. The ones I do like are either flaky, just in it for a fix, or on the opposite extreme, love struck after one lunar rotation. Hence, I seem to be distancing my dates further and further apart as a means of thwarting the unfavorable and in turn distancing myself. I hardly even bother or attempt to maintain contact with the quasi-potentials. I rather not even think on it. It usually results in an overall disappointment because it sucks to know that you have just wasted your one day off, for a soon-to-be-forgotten. I do not know if I have just grown to be more guarded, pickier, uncaring, or plain-out indifferent. I just sort of channel all that energy into work, school, workouts, and the written. I know that it takes work to find a happy place but as of late I find that place in my comfy chair and a beer.

-Speaking of beer...